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Swinging and the Ethnic Couple

Now that we have a brief understanding of what the premise of swinging is all about, maybe we should look at swinging from the ethnic couples point of view

To be completely honest most people who think of swinging visualize a bunch of middle-aged overweight white couples having sex with their neighbors, who are also middle aged and overweight! This image is so far from the truth. More and more ethnic couples are taking part and or looking for a discrete way to enter into the lifestyle today than you could imagine. As a webmaster who’s site deals expressly with ethnic sensuality, I am constantly bombarded with emails from Ethnic couples seeking ways to explore the world of swinging. Granted, since we are based in New York the resources for those wishing to broaden their sexual horizons are more plentiful than most other territories in the United States. But I have found that if you follow some of the ideas that I will set forth. You can put them in practice just about anywhere! But we will get to that in another chapter

One of the things that I think dissuade the sexually curious ethnic couple from exploring the option of swinging is the idea that someone will find out or that they will be exposed as some type of freak. I have to be honest with you. This is really a very valid reason! The ethnic community (and all references to ethnic are directed to non-white individuals, I have found that non-whites in America draw very similar parallels in their community and cultural dealings with sexual activity outside the accepted norms of society). On a whole is very harsh on those who practice sexual variations outside the accepted community standards. If you are found out or discovered trust me you will be talked about at the market, barbershop, nail, salon, bar, club and school!!!! Hey but before you get scared, why would anyone find out?

Let me put it this way to you If you are the type of person that gets a kick out of discussing your sexual escapades with any person that will listen. then the swinging lifestyle is really not for you. One of the things that you always must remember is that even though you may not care what others think about you and your sexuality, you are now interacting with others who may not want to have their sexual business put out there for public view. So the next ideal that is very important to those in the lifestyle is discretion. Old military saying loose lips sink ships. We all have jobs, family or friends that we really don’t want to make privy to our every sexual move. So it is extremely important that those that you interact with on a sensual level understand the importance of discretion and make sure that they understand that they can trust (there goes that word again!) you to also keep anything that goes on between the parties involved will stay within that group. Make sure that you express these feelings verbally never assume that everyone is on the same page! Again Communication is very, very important! We have all heard the horror stories about people losing their jobs (having to quit), being shunned by family members and so on, But the truth of the matter is with a little discretion and by being careful in choosing the venue and or persons with which you plan to explore with, most of the nonsense can be avoided.

So now we have 3 important ideals that if practiced should make your adventure into the lifestyle of swinging just that much easier TRUST COMMUNICATION DISCRETION.

Another problem that may block ethnic couples from exploring the lifestyle of swinging is what I call the ownership factor. This can sometimes pose a major obstacle for couples whom are still in the talking stage of getting into the lifestyle just kicking around the idea (hey there is nothing wrong with communicating to each other ones fantasies and thoughts or how to live them out is a great way to begin!) But alas when there is the chance that one or both parties may be having sex with another person, fears begin to creep into the equation will this person be better than me? Will he/she enjoy sex with him/her more than me? Will he/she find the other person more attractive than me? And of course this is my mate and I should be the only one having sex with him/her! Seems to me that ethnic peoples have had to always protect every aspect of their relationship for fear that someone else would take that person away from them. How many times have you heard an ethnic person make the statement He/She better look somewhere else cause that’s my man/woman! As much as I hate going over the same ideals I cannot stress the act of communication enough!!! These are things that couples should discuss prior to any activity that involves others. I have myself witnessed arguments and even fisticuffs between couples who did not take the time and communicate the expectations and limits if any to each other. Its kind of too late to figure things out once clothes are off and things are getting hot and heavy!

The last obstacle is just as valid as the previous ones and holds just as tangible effects, the last obstacle is fear

When we were younger we all had a healthy curiosity about sex. Nothing ever seemed too taboo. It’s not uncommon for teens to participate in group sex sessions as well as same sex exploration. Most of us dismiss our sexual escapades as youth to drinking too much that night, or being high, or being naive. I think the truth of the matter is that, at that moment in time you did what you felt you wanted to do and that was it! But the difference is that as teenagers we really could care less about the standards and the accepted policies of community and society. But as we grow older and add more responsibilities on to our plate such as family, and career we want our community and peers to view us in a certain light so we avoid doing things that we think would be viewed as on the fringes of what we think the community standards are… but the truth of the matter is someone is out there swinging! And you might be surprised at who it is.