Posts Tagged ‘party event swing couples new years eve birthday lifestyle nj new jersey swing’

First off I would like to thank the couple (L and R) who were nice enough to move the event to their home!  Who would have thought that we had members so close? Their hospitality is greatly appreciated!

We are very thankful as well to the couples who did show up, smaller turn out than what we expected however we can only put the info out there and not force anyone to come to any event however I will be getting to that later…

On the drive back home me and the Mrs. Discussed the events of the weekend as well as the goals of the site and how it reflects on our growing member base… one of the things was how to go about the process of insuring that people do take part in what we are offering on a regular basis, again we always believe in the non pressure approach but from our standpoint it is becoming to say the least a little time consuming as well as at times frustrating… Let me explain,

We plan events based on responses and queries from you, our members, when we get your emails we actually do read them and when we get a trend of letters that are referencing a need for a certain type of event or format or even a change on the site we try our best to implement it if only for the reason that we want this to be not only a site that we have built… but to give our members a sense of ownership in ethnicswingers.com.

During the planning of events the first thing that we look at is how we are going to make the event first off Affordable! We know what the scene is like out there and see no reason why an event at a hotel should cost even close to $100.00 per couple or more and you still have to bring your own liquor and condoms to boot (however you should always bring your own condoms)! So we are always trying to create events that are about cost sharing and not profit on our part… This is something that we think is relevant to the economic climate and in these tough times you should not have to pay a king’s ransom for the ability to play for one night!

This is something that we decided when the site was built, again we like to think that we as a group do something that is different and also makes sense, plus like we have said we have do jobs and the site is based on a social network of like minded adults not on being a business!

Now the next thing and this is where it gets to be frustrating at times…. we now have to set a location…

We are actually 3 hours away from NYC proper, however most of our members are located in NYC NJ and Connecticut! So we just think it makes sense to make it easier on our members to be able to access any event we are planning. We drive and I like to drive so… its not too much of an issue to set a location that is at least within an hour of most of our members… and since not everyone drives or owns a vehicle we actually look to see if metro transportation is available nearby… that’s just how we roll…

Now since we do have a roundtrip drive of 6-7 hours involved more than likely we need to book a room for ourselves since its better than even attempting to drive straight back home after an event and even if it is a sexually themed party we are going to need a couple of hours of rest before getting on the road… and of course we have to bring a few bottled spirits just to get things going (wink)…so we have now incurred a cost out of our own pocket  that in all reality we do not mind (call it taking one for the team). But now we are all excited and waiting for weeks of preparation to come to a climatic crescendo and on the day of the event 9insert drum roll fade here) I am getting email sent to my phone or text messages as to why X amount of people for some whatever reason… just can’t make it… Granted 3 couples’ are better than none but it is a far cry from the 12 couples that up until the night before who were asking me what should they bring what should they wear, do we have a preference for certain liquor , what are other people bringing as far as food… and then just hours before you decide that “hey I can’t make it”? Now let’s look at it from this angle… what if we got a little lazy, under the weather, decided there is something else we wanted to do or just wanted to camp in for the day and all of the people that prepped prepared and got ready to represent at the event got an email that afternoon at the expected time that everything was supposed to jump off get the “Event Cancelled” message? I think many of you would be very disappointed and would rethink dedicating yourselves to another event.

That is the position that we now have found ourselves in.

As always we are appreciative of those that did take the time to come out and support what is still the best and probably only site dedicated to the couple of color in the lifestyle but I am thinking that something needs to change. Especially since we have over 35 registered and confirmed couples! You have to wonder if we are doing something wrong!? You see I have always been a firm believer in 2 things.

1)      Money is never as important as time! We have no problem getting Hotel suites, supplying liquor and or even food out of our own pockets, all in the name of fun however we really only have the same 24 hours in a day that the rest of you have and if we spend a big chunk of that time planning and driving around to insure that everyone has a good time than we would expect you to make a concerted effort to either attend as expected or at least give us an ample amount of time to let us know that for whatever reason you might not attend. So that way if things are looking less than what is expected we can either reschedule or if need be reorganize the event.

2)      You can lead a horse to water… (well, you know the rest) Yes we are doing something different here and at the same time we are not the only venue available to swingers (yes I am able to keep my ego in check) but this is the burn… how many of you have balked at being in clubs where during the night you realize that you are indeed in a predominately white club and you are being treated at the very least like an object and at the worst with disdain? How many of you have complained of paying 100 dollar per couple or more to only to realize once inside the club you would have been better off applying that money to a charity because you probably won’t be enjoying the money you have just spent! How many of you have shown up at parties that the promoters swore on a stack of bibles was couples only to enter and find a bunch of single males with dicks in hand leering at every female that comes through the door?   What we have intended to create here is a haven for couples of color that want something different with the added twist of common sense added to the mix! Yeah we can’t twist your arms and lead you to the events we create but you have to ask yourself does it make any sense to complain about what’s presently out there…

Since I realize that I am getting long winded… I have to admit that for the most part we did enjoy ourselves and we are human and do understand that things do come up and are unavoidable at times, that’s just life but on the other hand we do find our hair bristling when we get an email Monday morning with “sorry we missed this one but when is the next one”!

We are really rethinking the February 13^th event as well as future events and we will keep you posted but I am really thinking of a deposit format so that we will always have an accurate idea of who is serious and who is not since the old adage put your money where your mouth is usually seems to work 9 out of 10 times.

We really do not have any dark or sinister motives behind what we are trying to do here on ethnicswingers.com and our main goal is fun and of course swinging fun! At the end of the day past work, writing , running a photo business part time and household family stuff ethnicswingers.com can only be called a labor of love so we are at times taken aback when plans do not turn out as expected and we instead of just throwing in the towel…We  try to tweak things and move things around because just like many of you we want to see the seeds of what we are doing take root and grow into something bigger something that in all reality encompasses all of us.

Now I have to write a letter to couple number 4 who decided they would show up to an event that posted online here on ethnicswingers.com as 2pm start and sent via email (with the change of format) as 6pm decided to appear at the hotel at 1145 pm (as per my phone logs and numerous messages) sadly (or happily) enough my phone was still in the hotel room while we were having a blast at LnRs super fab house…

I guess things like this happen often in this crazy world of swinging!

If you have any ideas and or feedback it is always welcome just contact us at admin@ethnicswingers.com if you are registered and confirmed that means you have the number then feel free to call us Monday through Friday after 7pm.

And please realize if the tone of this post seems  like we are angry that is not the case! We actually just want to get things popping so everyone (us included) can have fun without any issues or drama.

As always, Happy Swinging!

We are planning a small birthday/slash New Years Eve Party in the Fairfield New Jersey area.